How (not) to plan your future

Shortly before I went to the US for my semester abroad, my aunt asked me the following question:

What are you going to do if you meet the love of your life before you leave? 

I was amused by her question. On the one hand, she probably would not have asked me that question if I were male. On the other hand, what was I supposed to do in her opinion? Stay in Germany, get married and live happily ever after?

Uniting family and career

This may have been the perfect course of life for young women a couple of decades ago. But still today, women tend to cut back on their career opportunities because they have a feeling of not being able to match a successful career and a happy relationship, or they think it is their duty to give up their career in order to start a family. Now, in my early twenties, it is easy for me to say I will never do that. One day, I might want to spend more time with my children and will therefore periodically cut back on my job. However, this is not an issue to think about at the moment. It only becomes relevant in the future. 

The wrong way to plan

Hower, planning a distant future is something a lot of women do. And this can hold us back! Thinking about our possible relationship or family status in 15 years is irrelevant for today's career decisions. It is so much more important to picture your personal career situation in 15 years and know what you are working for. This is something worth planning and you have the possibility of actually influencing it. An interesting article I once read talked about how analyzing the effects of today’s career decisions on the opportunity to have a family and children later on negatively influences women's careers. By (often subconsciously) analyzing every career move for its effects on future family plans, women often do not take on a new job or do not ask for a promotion because they are afraid the new position could be too challenging when having a family. The fact that this family does not yet even exist is thereby completely dismissed.

How to do it right

If you can remember wondering about how a certain job or your career aspiration will work out for you in 10 years when you are the mother of two toddlers, then the following advice might be helpful: When it comes to your personal career development, think about the future and plan well ahead. When it comes to how your (imaginary) family might look like one day, you can dream about it. But do not plan that family and then adjust your career plans around it. You will find a solution for that problem when it comes to be an actual, real challenge!

Carolin