Book Review: Nice Girls don't get the corner office

I am a huge fan of reading, however since I started my studies I haven’t had a lot of time left for this hobby. So if I can combine the pleasure of reading with the chance to get helpful advice for my future career, I have to use the opportunity. Such an opportunity is the book Nice girls don’t get the corner office – 101 unconscious mistakes women make that sabotage their career  by Lois P. Frankel. The author is the president of Corporate Coaching International and has immense experience in Business Coaching. She realized that women often unconsciously make mistakes that have detrimental effects on their future career development and keep them from advancing. In her opinion, the root of evil is how women act “in certain stereotypical ways, such as being polite, soft-spoken, compliant, and relationship-oriented” because we have been taught to do so since early childhood. But whether you are about to start your career or you feel stuck in your current position, Ms. Frankel offers a lot of advice on how to change your behavior.

About the book

The book offers a self-assessment test that enables you to find out which of the eight categories Ms. Frankel talks about is causing the most problems for you. She also mentions the Unconscious Competence Model which pictures the challenge of moving from a state of low competence and low consciousness to a state of high competence and low consciousness. At first, you do not know what you are actually doing wrong and finally in the end, the right thing will come naturally to you. This model can be applied to many of the mistakes that are mentioned throughout the book.

Mistakes women make

For each of the eight categories of mistakes, you can find a short introduction followed by the most important mistakes women typically make. The categories range from How you play the game, How you act, How you think, How you brand and market yourself to How you sound, look and respond. What I like most about the book are the many real-life examples that are given and that really facilitate finding yourself in the described situations. The book is an easy read and you can fit in a couple of mistakes each night before you fall asleep! Not every mistake may be relevant for you, but there are definitely some things you do without even noticing their effect on your aspirations. Additionally, there are also a lot of men out there who have to deal with the same issues. 

The TOP 5

These are the five mistakes that are most important in my opinion:
Obediently Following Instructions – Simply following instructions without thinking about the big picture will not always be the most successful solution for a problem!

Striving for Perfection – Well, we all know this one. It is fine to check a finished project, but do you really need to waste time by going over it a second or third time?

Refusing High-Profile Assignments – If there is an opportunity to take over an important customer/ assignment/ position even though it might cost you a lot of time, you should usually take it over. These are the opportunities to show people what you are capable of!

Expressing Statements as Questions – One of the mistakes I am always working on. Instead of simply telling co-workers about an idea, you would camouflage the statement as a question to be on the safe side in case people don’t like the idea. But doing so also means that you lose ownership of your ideas!

Polling Before Making a Decision – Ms. Frankel talks about a negative implementation of participative decision making. While it is good to let several people participate in the decision making process, being unable to make quick decisions on your own when they are needed, is a negative characteristic.

So if you want to have an informative and helpful bedtime story, how about trying this book?

Carolin

The Whip Crackers

“Crack the whip, Annie’s making an announcement!”

This is one of the sentences often exclaimed by my male colleagues when I would raise my voice to make a statement in front of a student committee, which mostly consisted of males. Whenever I delegate, make a comment, or raise my voice, fellow male students get out their smartphone and crack the virtual whip application. It certainly cracks them up every time. This behavior gave me something to think about: why is the whip cracked whenever I speak up? The women I know wouldn’t start cracking an electronic whip when a guy starts speaking in front of a group of people. Is this because it simply seems more natural that a man takes the rhetoric lead?

In her book Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg comments on similar experiences: “We evaluate people based on stereotypes. Our stereotype of men holds that they are providers, decisive, and driven. Our stereotype of women holds that they are caregivers, sensitive and communal. Because we characterize men and women in opposition to each other, professional achievement and all the traits associated with it get placed in the male column.” This passage explains not only my experience, but also that of many other women very well: while it seemed perfectly natural and familiar for one of the men to lead the group discussion, my same behavior was perceived as bossy and dominant, because it did not suit the stereotype of a woman. My colleagues’ whip-action may also be due to society’s deeply rooted image of women as a sex symbol. A driven and perhaps dominant woman can be seen as dominant such as a domina. This in turn triggers the image of a whip-cracking domina… Do I have to elaborate any further?

Getting this kind of negative attention can be disheartening for many women. Especially when it took overcoming insecurities to speak up in front of a group of people. I encourage women and men to point out their colleagues’ behavior and support females who do pluck up the courage to speak up. This is the only response that will point out such negative reactions and help avoiding it in the future.

Annamarie

Accepting Your Potential

When Marissa Meyer was appointed CEO of Yahoo back in July 2012, the business world was stunned: a pregnant woman as the new head of a struggling internet company. Would any good become of this change in management? I was amazed at the news: it clearly showed that a woman can climb the corporate ladder and realize her family aspirations.

Beauty and success

Then, a couple of days ago, I read an interesting article covering -in general- the relation between the beauty of CEOs and the success of their companies. The author mentions several different researchers who wrote about similar topics in the last years: generally speaking, if people have a high level of beauty or are more beautiful than the average, the return of their company or their income is higher. Up to now, this is not a specific women-men issue, but what stirred my attention was the example given by the researchers for the CNBC article: Marissa Meyer! Why does it have to be exactly this woman to illustrate the relation between beauty and higher return of the company? Following the example, the research scientists say: "Of course, we don't mean that all the increase in stock price is from her appearance. We just find that there might be some positive correlation between the two". So, why pick exactly this blonde woman as an example? Could it be the fact that her performance has been stunning and now people do not want to believe solely in her abilities but search for different explanations? This might not have been the conscious reason for the researchers Halford and Hsu choosing Marissa Meyer as an example. However, the concept of looking for different explanations for success apart from one's own abilities is a phenomenon also often seen with female managers.

Be proud of yourself!

On the one hand, we tend to search the reason for our success in lucky circumstances or other external influences. On the other hand, we usually attribute the reason for failure to ourselves. We can definitely improve here: next time you give a great presentation, hand in an awesome paper or get that internship you really wanted: it was your personal achievement. Celebrate (just like Marissa Meyer did when she found out about being No.1 on Fortune's "40 under 40" list) and show what you are capable of!

Carolin

Feminism - share your passion

I have made my share of experiences as a feminist student. In Germany, being called a feminist is a clear insult, but I was raised to believe it was a compliment. I find women shouldn’t be afraid of “outing” themselves as feminists.

In many countries, especially in Germany, talking about topics such as gender equality and women’s empowerment (and heaven forbid in front of a group of strangers!) is deemed a social taboo and one is immediately labeled a man-hating feminist. Whenever I strike up the subject among friends, both male and female, I get a massive eye-rolling response.

By now, having read the first part of my article, many of you probably think I am an awkward feminist geek.  Women especially will think: “She’s a man-hater! I would never speak publicly (and certainly not during a date!) about women’s empowerment!” My response to that is: If you are deeply interested in a topic, why not share your enthusiasm with others? If a guy told you on a date that he is committed to sustainability and ecological preservation, and therefore spends his spare time raising awareness for endangered species or deforestation, you would most likely find this attractive. Why do women think talking about women’s empowerment will make a guy run for the hills? It is about time this conservative and out-of-date way of thinking stops. I myself have made many positive experiences when talking to strangers (and, yes, also on a date) about my passion for gender equality. No matter what your commitment, it is important to share this with others to foster your passion.

Annamarie